“Do unto others what you would have them do unto you.” —The Golden Rule

Many public and private school educators will spend time in graduate school during their professional career and that was certainly the case for me as I worked on a 6-year degree (Ed.S.) and then a 7-year degree (Ph.D.) while working in schools. I took a class in gifted education one semester with a teacher from another school in my district who also was a football coach (offensive coordinator). During the semester of our class together he had the opportunity to transfer from his current school to another school in the district where his family’s home was located. The new school also happened to have a more successful football program and he did aspire to be a head coach one day; but the primary reason he wanted to change schools was to improve the situation for his wife (also an educator) and children by working closer to his home and being more enmeshed in the school community in which he lived.

When he told his current principal his plans to transfer, his current principal was livid. According to my classmate, his principal exploded in anger, made comments that were disparaging, and treated my graduate school classmate in ways that can best be described as “extremely negative”. My classmate had given lots of effort and energy and positive impact to his current school, both in the classroom and on the athletic field. He communicated the right thing in the right way and it still turned into a very hurtful experience and, if nothing else, validated his decision to move from one school to another, especially in terms of the school leadership team.

I was not yet a principal during this event, but his experience remained in the forefront of my mind for many years to follow. I committed to not being a principal who was punitive or held grudges if and when faculty and staff members wanted to switch schools. After all, when I eventually became a principal, I would be working in my fourth school within a single district having switched schools three times in the process becoming a principal. How could I ignore this and disparage an educator for doing the very thing I did in order to become a principal?

During my #SchoolLeadership career, I had a number of faculty and staff members who retired, changed schools, accepted promotions, or left education altogether. I tried very hard to exhibit compassion and support for each of them. For some, I viewed their departure as an opportunity to hire a more-skilled educator in their spot. For others, it was disappointing because they were so good at what they did, and they were not easily replaced. However, I constantly reminded myself that I would leave one day too, and I did not want my supervisor exacting vengeance or retribution on me for doing what I thought was best for my family, or my career aspirations, or myself.

In K-12 education, many people treat us in ways they would never want to be treated: in person, through email, publicly on social media, etc. However, the Golden Rule remains steadfast and it is up to us – especially school leaders – to treat others the way we want to be treated, even when disappointment, frustration, or anger are dominant emotions of the moment.

Whatever challenges you face in this area, we can relate to these circumstances and we can partner with you for supportive and collaborative solutions.