“None knows the weight of another’s burden.” —George Herbert

Her seat was in the very back corner of my science lab where students along the outer walls had to sit on metal stools at high-top lab tables. At the very start of this particular day, I began passing out the unit tests quickly so students had every moment of class time. This was Honors Physical Science, of course! When I made it back to her desk, she was not in her seat. She was under the desk, whimpering. I bent down to try and gauge the situation a bit. She was crying, sobbing even. I asked if she was okay. She said that she felt really bad, held her hand over her abdomen, and looked at me with puppy-dog eyes.

Have you ever been approached by a stranger on a city street, at a gas station, or in a large parking lot, and they asked for “a few dollars”? The same thoughts that go through your mind and mine when that happens is what I was thinking as I looked this 15-year old student in her childish face.

What I said was “You put your head down and rest and we can worry about the test later.” I do recall that she came after school one day about a week later and took the test. I am certain she did quite well – as well as I was expecting her to do in class. As career educators understand, the years begin to run together a bit and I do not remember much about her in the couple of years afterward.

However, I remember with striking clarity the spring of her senior year as graduation approached. She stopped by to visit my classroom as students did. What many students did not do is what came next. She asked me if I remembered that long-ago event from ninth grade. I said, sure I do. She wanted me to know that she was not sick that day! She said she did not have time to study and she panicked and she pretended to be sick knowing that I would not make her take the test. She confessed, unprovoked, to something I suspected in the moment, but decided to handle with blind kindness. I don’t remember saying much to her at that moment other than thanking her for telling me the truth. I do remember thinking that neither of us would ever forget that event.

As I document this three decades later, I am certain she has, or will, tell this story to her children or a close friend and perhaps use it for good.

We never know what burdens those around us are carrying…or hiding. I have always presumed that individuals who loudly announce their burdens as excuses would crumble under the weight of burdens unspoken by others.

Sometimes I give “a few dollars” to people who ask for it supported by adult puppy-dog looks. Yes, they may spend it on addictive substances; but that is something they will never forget just like my student will never forget making up an excuse and taking advantage of kindness she knew would be there. That is really the part of the entire story I remember – she knew I would not make her take the test.

If you want those individuals you lead in school to know that you will support them in their times of authentic need, partner with us. We know how to cultivate a school culture where doing the right thing is expected, especially before graduation.